Sonam was getting ready for her kitty party. It was going to be an enjoyable but hectic day for her. Sonam and her friends had planned a get-together on every second Saturday of the month, when they all met, along with their kiddos. There was a lot of fun for the kids as well as the mothers. It was a jam-packed day with laughs and pranks, but Sonam was tense because Syra fails living up to her expectations.
Sonam wanted Syra to be the best child. She has high expectations from syra and she got perturbed when syra could not match them. What to do?
Sonam felt perturbed and impatient. She made sure Syra’s needs were satisfied. She always wants to offer the best to her daughter. Syra went to the best school and had the cutest bag. Her shoes and dresses were a class apart.
Sonam wanted to give her best to her darling daughter but she had lots of rules for Syra, and even tried to micromanage nearly all the aspects of her daughter’s life, both at home and in public. Some of the rules were assumed to be familiar to her youngster.
At times, Sonam felt so stressed that she was cold, aloof, and harsh, and would often nag or yell at Syra, rather than encouraging or praising her. Sometimes she even spanked and scolded Syra. Sonam’s reactions were harsh whenever Syra did not follow the rules or could not match her expectations. Sonam was always unsure of her daughter’s actions, and it was difficult for her to trust that she could make the correct decisions.
Sonam hardly ever gave freedom to Syra to take her decisions on her own and face consequences for her choices. She did not want her daughter to make mistakes. Sonam often told Syra,” Why do you always do this? Or,” How many times have I told you the same thing!”
Due to the extremely demanding, unwillingness to negotiate, shaming behavior of Sonam, Syra always associated obedience and success with love. She often had difficulty interacting with others. She avoids being around people. At times Syra became aggressive, fearful and shy. She was generally clingy and it was not possible for Sonam to enjoy the party or any other social gathering.
What should Sonam do?
“Food for thought – from Principal’s desk” An initiative to make parenting the most enjoyable part of your life.